Joy of not knowing

I stared out of the window and watched a scene that was engraved in my mind: the view from my office. 10 years I had looked at this. My mind drifted to a beach. If only. The sand too hot for my feet; I make a dash for the perfect sea.

Every day the same thing. Different problems and different people but the same routine. How long does this sentence last? Another ten years? If only I could be free.

No. Not today. Not this time. I opened my text editor and typed short letter. Not ten minutes later I handed the letter to my boss.

You sure? He asked

Yes. Family reasons.

OK, family first. That’s my belief. Good for you.

As I walked away I felt slightly annoyed that he didn’t try to stop me. Whatever. All the better, I thought. Good decision


Aaargh! Another rejection. How much longer can I take this. The joy of quitting has worn off. No regrets but it would be nice to find another job. Those bills are getting impatient.

I’m meeting an ex-colleague today. She was made redundant last year. I’m not sure what we’re going to talk about but I take any opportunity to meet people.

On the way I get lost. I’m not usually in this area. To my surprise there were beautiful old merchant homes here. I spotted a Deli that must have been around for ages. Must come back.

My friend was early and told me that she got a job in an Australia themed restaurant. Wow! Big change from the International Affairs degree she got. Did I know that a big corporation was moving their head office to here? Call Eileen, she knows the HR guys.

She’s cool, I thought as we went our way. Never knew her from the mildly boring colleague I thought she was.

I just missed the bus and decided to walk. No hurry, I’ve got nothing else to do. The sun came out and I had that lovely feeling of being on a city break, discovering new shops, parks and landmarks as I walked. The best things are free.


My days are unpredictable. I never know what good or bad news comes my way. I have learned that every person that I meet has something for me. I name, an idea, an inspiring thought. I try to give something in return. Every day I discover something new in a world I’m supposed know so well.

I’m looking forward to a new job, whatever it will turn out to be. Change is good. But I already know that I will be staring out of another office window, wishing I was out here, awake and aware. I’ll be wishing for that state of mind when we don’t know what the day will bring. The bliss of not knowing.


PS My posts are typically a patchwork of past and present experiences with a bit of imagination or anticipation added. So, in truth, I wrote this BEFORE I met this ex-colleague. In a perfect illustration of “not knowing”, she offered me a consulting job on behalf of her cousin’s friend in London. I can confirm that sense of bliss is real 🙂


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