Joy of not knowing

I stared out of the window and watched a scene that was engraved in my mind: the view from my office. 10 years I had looked at this. My mind drifted to a beach. If only. The sand too hot for my feet; I make a dash for the perfect sea.

Every day the same thing. Different problems and different people but the same routine. How long does this sentence last? Another ten years? If only I could be free.

No. Not today. Not this time. I opened my text editor and typed short letter. Not ten minutes later I handed the letter to my boss.

You sure? He asked

Yes. Family reasons.

OK, family first. That’s my belief. Good for you.

As I walked away I felt slightly annoyed that he didn’t try to stop me. Whatever. All the better, I thought. Good decision

——

Aaargh! Another rejection. How much longer can I take this. The joy of quitting has worn off. No regrets but it would be nice to find another job. Those bills are getting impatient.

I’m meeting an ex-colleague today. She was made redundant last year. I’m not sure what we’re going to talk about but I take any opportunity to meet people.

On the way I get lost. I’m not usually in this area. To my surprise there were beautiful old merchant homes here. I spotted a Deli that must have been around for ages. Must come back.

My friend was early and told me that she got a job in an Australia themed restaurant. Wow! Big change from the International Affairs degree she got. Did I know that a big corporation was moving their head office to here? Call Eileen, she knows the HR guys.

She’s cool, I thought as we went our way. Never knew her from the mildly boring colleague I thought she was.

I just missed the bus and decided to walk. No hurry, I’ve got nothing else to do. The sun came out and I had that lovely feeling of being on a city break, discovering new shops, parks and landmarks as I walked. The best things are free.

—–

My days are unpredictable. I never know what good or bad news comes my way. I have learned that every person that I meet has something for me. I name, an idea, an inspiring thought. I try to give something in return. Every day I discover something new in a world I’m supposed know so well.

I’m looking forward to a new job, whatever it will turn out to be. Change is good. But I already know that I will be staring out of another office window, wishing I was out here, awake and aware. I’ll be wishing for that state of mind when we don’t know what the day will bring. The bliss of not knowing.

———-

PS My posts are typically a patchwork of past and present experiences with a bit of imagination or anticipation added. So, in truth, I wrote this BEFORE I met this ex-colleague. In a perfect illustration of “not knowing”, she offered me a consulting job on behalf of her cousin’s friend in London. I can confirm that sense of bliss is real 🙂

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